Sit Still

Last week I received a mass email from my professor (for JSB 231 - a subject devoted entirely to criminological theories) in which he said almost half the co-hort had failed Assignment 1!

It was entirely possible that I'd fail too, because at the time, I was working on several assignments at once and did not have any spare time to devote to it at all.

I only gave it one shot, with relevant but old resources that I'd used for previous essays. I didn't even have the time to write a proper conclusion. That was how extremely pressed for time I was.

Furthermore, I had been utterly demoralised by a very narrow-minded marker who failed me because she did not like my interpretation of an essay question (for JSB 232 - Youth Justice), and so I read the email and thought to myself and to God, "well, God, I've already failed one, so maybe another one won't matter. I've put in all I could and You saw my efforts, if I fail, then I fail."

I was so resigned to failing as if it had already been confirmed that I didn't tell anyone, not dad, not R, not Rz about how crappy I felt about the entire university thing. (Though I suspect they knew all the while.)

Then my semester break finally came and I was too eager to forget all about it.

Last Friday, I received JSB 231 Assignment 1 in the mail. Dad left it on my desk, but I was quite reluctant to open the package, cos I was thinking failfailfail the whole time.

When I finally did, guess what. To my great astonishment, I had scored 70%!

The amazing part is not that I somehow managed to churn out impressive, scholarly work in a limited amount of time. The amazing part is that despite my lack of elaboration of some concepts, my professor gave me a higher grade than I'd actually deserved!

His last comment in my essay: "I have given you a good grade because of the apparent thinking you have applied, however ensure that you fully utilise the word limit next time. Good effort."

You might call it luck, but I call it a miracle.

...

Yesterday was quite a happening day in the servers. I think there were like a total of 15 bans yesterday alone. And that is not counting client servers :s

At one point I was trying to spectate three different people at once. Somehow I managed to not get the demos mixed up ~.~"

Think the rest of the mods and I are very thankful school holidays are over for the secondary/primary school crowd. Every school holidays signify a marked increase in server traffic and kiddies trying to get away with hacking. Now we can finally get back to gaming in (relative) peace.

For normal gamers, you'd think that spectating people is a simple job. Let me say, it's damn tiring man!

Especially if you have to watch the person for an entire map - 45 mins. That does not include the mental deduction you have to apply to every kill the person makes on a case by case basis, depending on which part of the map the person, and his victim, is.

Given this, it is really a wonder that so many people have signed up during this on-going recruitment drive.

Maybe they think it's glamourous and whatever.

...

Went to NCC today, but later than intended. Guess I was feeling kind of tired, too, from all the spectating zzzz.. I was very tired actually, to the point I didn't even feel hungry the whole day.

After waiting for close to an hour, the 4pm service finally started late at 1650hrs @.@!

I made a mental note: Never attend last service again!

But as always, whenever I thirst for His guidance, I always find something that quenches me during service at NCC. The key verse today was taken from the book of Ruth, 3:18:

Then said she, "Sit still, my daughter, until thou know how the matter will fall; for the man will not be in rest until he hath finished the thing this day."

Yes, gan cheong hammy me shall learn to sit still and let God make right every wrong in my life.


- 26 June 2006 2:34 am -